Monday, September 2, 2013

Sayangku dibasahi darah

Said mengangkat pedangnya tinggi, bersiap sedia untuk memenggal kepala ghafar, anaknya.

Air matanya mengalir deras, ghafar di pandang penuh sayu, namun dia nekad.

Pedang di hayun beberapa kali hampir ke kepala ghafar.

Ghafar tidak langsung berganjak walaupun diuji dengan hayunan pedang bapanya.

Ghafar tidak menangis, jauh sekali merayu untuk dilepaskan. Dia hanya tunduk,diam,berfikir akan kesalahannya.

"Abdul ghafar, adakah kamu akan terus berdiam diri."

Said bersuara setelah melihat anaknya tidak gentar akan pedangnya.

"Bersuaralah wahai abdul ghafar,mungkin hatiku akan pulih jika kamu berkata sesuatu"

Said sekali lagi bersuara mengharapkan sesutu dari anaknya.kali ini suaranya dilembutkan.

Ghafar terus berdiam,membatukan diri di depan bapanya. Esak tangis ayahnya kedengaran.

"Ghafar, kau sudah keterlaluan. Adakah aku ini sudah tiada apa-apa bagimu sehingga kau sanggup melakukan perkara itu kepadaku. Ya aku memang sudah tua, ghafar...tetapi umurku yang lanjut ini tidak pernah menumpulkan akalku,apatah lagi usia mudamu. Sudah la ghafar, andai tiada keikhlasan lagi dalam dirimu, bertebaranlah kamu di bumi Allah ini. Aku redha apa yang telah kau lakukan untukku. Anggaplah aku bukan bapamu lagi. Pergilah kamu keluar dari negeri ya ghafar"..

Said menghayun sekali lagi pedangnya dan kali ini tepat mengenai lengan ghafar.

Darah merah pekat membasahi bilah pedangnya.

Tercerailah sudah lengan ghafar dari jasadnya.

Ghafar terpelosok mengerang kesakitan. Matanya dipejam kuat berharap kesakitannya akan berkurang.

Air mata said masih mengalir. Pilu melihat anaknya menahan kesakitan, tapi apakan daya, ini sahaja cara untuk mengajar anaknya.

Ghafar dilihatnya terkial-kial bangun untuk pergi dari rumah tersebut.

Hatinya terasa mahu sahaja dia menolong merawat luka ghafar,lantas memujuk anaknya agar tidak menunggalkan rumahnya itu.

Said menguatkan hatinya, kakinya dipaksa melangkah masuk ke dalam rumahnya tanpa sedikitpun memalingkan muka untuk melihat anaknya.

"Pergilah anakku,mencari di mana dirimu, aku doakan kamu berjaya menemui dirimu"

Bisik said di dalam hati........



Friday, August 30, 2013

Mengimbau memori

Ktak...tak...tak...

Kedengaran bunyi tapak kaki melangkah laju...

"How's the patient?still unconcious?"

Pandangannya ditumpukan ke arah nurse yang sedang bertugas

"Aah doktor hamzah...but we have to wait  for awhile, vital x stabil lagi."

Dia mengangguk, kemudian terus berlalu menuju ke bangku yang disediakan. Leher yang sengal diurut perlahan-lahan sambil fikirannya menerawang entah ke mana.

Hamzah merupakan pegawai perubatan yang baru sahaja berkhidmat di hospital tanjung karang.
Baru pulang ke Malaysia setelah beberapa tahun berkhidmat dengan kerajaan mesir ketika zaman revolusi kebangkitan rakyat mesir.

Masih terbayang di fikirannya keadaan mesir ketika itu, perhimpunan aman jutaan rakyat mesir menyatakan rasa tidak setuju dengan penggulingan tentera terhadap pemerintahan sedia ada bertukar menjadi peristiwa berdarah .

"Doktor, shall we?"

Lamunan terhenti, kelihatan dr. Mastura berdiri di hadapannya.

"Sorry, i terleka"

Mastura tidak mempedulikan jawapan hamzah, langkahannya yang terhenti sebentar tadi diteruskan.

hamzah yang masih terpinga-pinga bingkas bangun dari bangku tersebut dan terus berlari untuk mengejar mastura.

"Dr.hamzah u tahukan?...after the baby out, it'll be taking you, my group will continue with the mother and yours with the baby"

Mastura mengangkat sebelah keningnya simbolik kepada pertanyaan dilontarkan.

"Don't worry, i'll do as what we discuss....insyallah....with Allah will, everything is going to be alrite"

Hamzah tersenyum, mungkin sudah biasa menerima ekspresi sebegitu dari doktor yang lebih senior darinya.

Pembedahan dimulakan seperti dirancang dan berakhir dengan kedua ibu dan anak selamat.

Hamzah mengucap kesyukuran di atas kejayaan pembedahan yang dilakukan.

Selesai sahaja segala urusan, dewan bedah ditinggalkan, sudah tiba masa untuknya menunaikan solat asar dan zohor.

Usai solat, hamzah mengambil masa sebentar membaca beberapa mesej yang tidak sempat dibaca

                           "Jemputan ke majlis walimah fatimah dan fikri pada 24 sept 2018"

Berkerut dahi hamzah memikirkan siapa gerangan pengantin ini. Tangannya pantas membalas mesej

"Rul, yang mana ni....aku tak pasti kawan kita yang laki ke pempuan"

Beberapa saat kemudian mesej yang dihantar sudah dibalas kembali

"Pempuan...fatimah"



















Monday, August 12, 2013

My shadow life


Lately macam dah tade tujuan da idup....

Macam-macam dah berlaku.....

Aku cuma nak hidup

Tapi apa yang dapat dilihat sekarang ni

Aku umpama zombie


Life is like triumph

Life is about randomness

Be a living things is about chasing the dream

Life at dunya is for awhile

It is a port before we continue to sail to the hereafter

Jom berubah

Friday, August 2, 2013

Ship story

Firhan sketching something on the paper

He really in vain

He don't know what to do

Somehow his father try to correct him as much as he can

Firhan try to change,

But he doesn't know why it is still at the same level

Might be he never change at all

So he sketched a lot

He barely speak

Mommy call him as a wall,

Sturdy yet do not talk as well.

Firhan feel like he really need to be a better person

And at the same time he feel like he fail to do so

He stop sketching suddenly

He took out a knife

And stab his palm several time

Then he close his eyes let it bleed heavily....

Life is much like a ship

Every ship want to reach its destination safely

The difference between them is only one that is load

There's a ship that carry least load and of course it can sail really fast compared to the ship that carry more heavy load..

Whatever it is both ship will arrive its own destination

It just a matter of time that will distingush them.



Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Kisah keledek


I'm going to interview soon...

So lets write something in english

Last week i accompanied my sister to buy food things

I really don't have idea how kupang look like

In my imagination,it is an insect that resemble grasshoper...

Seriously...i really don't know how kupang look like

So my sister drag me to some ikan2 section

And kupang is just an animal that got shell like kerang

Then when i coming home at pahang,

Abah prepared food that i hate the most

It is keledek and kacang buncis

I was forced to eat both

Abah told me

"Tau x dulu susah...smua org mkn ubi je"

I don't know if it just some word to persuade or what...

It just annoy to eat something you wont

Persoalan sekarang bukan ke orang dulu2 makan ubi kayu

And i did some research...

Keledek on the market is quite expensive...

I'm wiling to grow one rather than eating or buying

Fuhhh...why keledek....why....


Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Kita tak punya apa2


Fiqa terduduk.

"Wah sedap ke dengar ceramah free?"

Zati menegur.

Fiqah diam,fikir apa yang disampaikan sebentar tadi kepadanya barangkali.

Saban kali membuat kesalahan, membuatkan dia sendiri lemas.

Direnung jam ditangannya,betapa waktu berlalu begitu pantas.

Dementia, ya fiqah sudah disahkan menghidap dementia.

Setengah perkara amat sukar diingati kini.

Fiqah menarik nafas panjang.

Perlahan-lahan tangannya mencapai buku nota.

Dia perlu mencatat dan terus mencatat, entah sampai bila.

Tangannya menggeletar, tidak pasti apa yang ingin ditulis.

Terlupa, fiqah menarik nafas cuba mencari fokus dan akhirnya terleka dengan kelakuan zati disebelahnya.

"Eh bila masa akak bg zati hedfon tu"

Zati mengalihkan pandangan pada fiqah, pelik dengan persoalan fiqah.

"Tadi bukan akak yang suruh zati guna"

Fiqah terdiam, air mata terlerai.

"Haih aku masih ada masa...no more mistake please..aku tak punya apa2..ingatan aku juga milikNYA"

Ya fiqah mahu kembali, jauh dari membuat kesilapan yang berulang kali.



Friday, July 5, 2013

pain-killer


farah stare at the old cloth,

it belongs to her long last lover

he's dead already.

she thinks thats, time will heal everything, but it does not.

she take awhile,hold the cloth so tight, crying silently.

farah is a detective, working together in the same department with fahmi which is her superior really make her happy back then.

fahmi died on duty while protecting farah.

he got head shot and can't survive.


p/s: i listen to painkiller song by speed ft t-ara, seeya and 5 dolls...and suddenly want to write this short story...really short kan

Thursday, June 27, 2013

sebaik jumpa hang


Sarah tersenyum melihat amir.

"today is the day"

bisik Sarah di dalam hati....

Amir di hujung sana curi-curi memandang Sarah.

dia pasti Sarah berada di sana tapi entah mengapa gundah pula terasa hatinya..

"aku terima nikahnya..........."

dan selesai semuanya kini...

amir merapati sarah..

"assalamualaikum bakal isteri"

sarah terkejut dengan tindakan amir.

"bakal?"

amir mengangguk

"ya la 5 tahun yang lepas..awak bakal isteri saya"

Sarah tergelak sendiri...

"jangan nak mengarut la........jgn lupa lepas nikah nye photo shoot...ader lagi photo shoot len..later find you...i nk follow bride...nnti kang x jln bisnes kita ni"

Sarah berjalan meninggalkan Amir...

Amir tersenyum melihat Sarah berlalu darinya

"thank Allah, let me know her and married her"

Amir dan Sarah merupakan photographer majlis pernikahan pada hari itu. Bersama membina bisnes di dalam  bidang photography, dan akhirnya pada 5 tahun yang lalu, akhirnya mereka bersetuju untuk mendirikan rumahtangga bersama. Dari rakan kongsi kini suami isteri. majlis-majlis sebegini sangat ditunggu mereka berdua. perbaharui rasa bahagia alam pernikahan dengan khutbah nikah serta lafaz taklid yang sentiasa dilafazkan sewaktu hari pernikahan.

END

p/s: ni aku tulis sebab aku asik dengaq lagu thank god i found you...waktu watch others people wedding...haih...

Monday, June 24, 2013

stalking people


i think that i've got much free times right now...

last two days, i was very busy..

handling life...

finding what we call is as stability of life...

everything is settle just now...

and me...

don't know what to do...

stalking people.....

you know....that's really mean...

my life is just dull...lonely right now....

and times is super duper fast la sekarang ni....

i really love busy life...

working, apart of busying submitting assignment last minute?

hahahaa...

hari tu aku baca artikel ni

pasai keberkatan masa....

u know something....yang terkesan kat jantung aku

when that ustaz saying like this

"sebab kurangnya keberkatan masa, masa akan jadi macam sangat singkat...pastu kita ni da la da rasa masa dah habis singkat dah...pi lagi keja benda lagha...bukan la nak isi masa dengan perkara2 ibadah ka...manfaat ka...."

oiiii people wake up la....

hidup utk keberkatan...

maybe i'm going to practice speech a lot...

kita kalau nak confidence jangan dengan pekedai ja...

biar dengan interviewee pun mantop gak....

oh and then...since...mmg byk gila masa terluang...

i might finish up memorising surah al-baqarah completely...

ayat n its translation.....

lama dah tangguh ni...dri first year agi....

this ramadhan will be special..if i managed to istiqamah n hinder myself doing something inappropriate n dosa besar...like watching something that is not good for heart and eyes...

yo...pray for me.......


Sunday, June 23, 2013

finishing school


yay!!!!...

dah habis belajaq....

tapi tu la aku kat cni lagi....

dan....tak dan nk say goodbye n thank you to all my friends...

yeah....many things happen within four years....

from good things...to not so bad...n finally really bad thing....

the end...we still manage to recover...neutralize to be this good...

haha....

me...for all this four year...sticking to this four person like sticking pad....

yeah...even though they really don't like me but hey...... they are just too nice

Allah granted them with great patience to keep our prenship till the end...

Allah petikkan hati kami untuk berjumpa...bersahabat..jadikan kami saling ingat dan mengingatkan tentang perkara baik dan buruk....dan akhirnya pada tanggal 22/6/2013...sekali lagi Allah uji kami dengan perpisahan....

semuanya telah ditakdirkan....

Alhamdulillah...this sem.....semua bnda pun smoothly happen...

at the very least,,,kami berjaya hantaq awal product design kami...hahahaa......

mereka la keluarga saya selama empat tahun berada di perantauan...berjauhan dengan real family saya....

sedih...sakit...susah...senang....smua  dh kongsi brsma mreka.....

sdikit sebanyak....membentuk diri...personaliti  kini...

hahaha...tq gila....

x kira la pada stage mana pun kita berada pasni...

lets pray to meet someone nice to be our friend...like you guys in the future...

at least me keep praying...the same dua'  since we've been apart...yesterday....



this is the only picture that i have, fit for five of us...even though..my face is barely seen...haha...taken by nuin phone camera....our first jalan2 di perlis...gua kelam....first year...there's su..hajar..imah..nuin n wani...




Sunday, May 19, 2013

My person



i’ve been watching grey’s anatomy for ninth season now

and of course, I couldn’t lie to myself the story is interesting season by season…

I started to watch it since I was in form four..

Yep, it did make me want to be a doctor….  
     
But I do not smart enough to be the one….

From the one that want to be a doctor, finally the story has leaded me to be interest with the relationship happen between cristina and Meredith……

Everytime I heard both cristina and mer saying this word...

          “u’re my person”

I wonder did I ever have one……

My person…

Is not someone that comes with my condition…

Someone that never makes me wants to change her…

He/she can be whatever…

As long as the things do not make them destruct…

I think that’s alright….

Accepting each other’s flaws….

Influence by who they use to be…

Yeah…my person can be anybody….

For now …I think….i don’t have one…..

And I don’t ever have one

If I need to talk with someone bout problems

I just telling anyone about it

And surely that’s not okay for me

Open up about myself to anyone…

That’s never make me want to be the one that I use to be..

Or at least the one that I want to be

Which means later on…I end up with confidence deficit….

Fortunately I got Allah to talk to….

I’ve talking with HIM for long enough….

Alhamdulillah until now…

23 years…insyaallah……

Talk about all the unbearable things…

Asking HIM to make things bearable for me……

And guide me along the way in my life………

HE’s always be my person…










Thursday, April 25, 2013

printer waktu panas dan berat


aku ada test esok...

printer aku nazak duk kat tepi katil aku....

heart rate dia.....oh dah 30 beat kebawah....

dah tak lama nampaknya.......

aku usap badannya.........

mungkin ini kali terakhir aku puji dia......

kau bagus suatu ketika dahulu......

tet....tet...tettttttttttttttttttttttttt..........

sampai sudah masanya.........

kau pergi meninggalkan aku jua......

aku cuma perlu kau bertahan sedikit masa lagi.....

nampaknya dirimu......sudah tidak tertahan lagi......

kau pergi jua......

pixmo......

esok aku ada test haba dan berat....

ingatkah dikau suatu ketika dahulu....

berpanas kita dek kerna haba si mentari.....

berberat2 kita kerna kotakmu yang berat.....

namun semuanya kita gagahi....aku maksudkan aku gagahi.....

demi niat kita yang suci.....

mengprint nota dan dokumen yg pasti....

aku seolah lupa jasamu kini......

maaf....

dan 

selamat tinggal............

aku pasti maut akan menjemputku suatu ketika nanti....

terima kasih untuk segalanya

khidmatmu berhenti di sini




Sunday, April 21, 2013

language

Hari nie....aku tengok gwiyomi kat utube...

and aku end up comment....sillly....

i just try to be myself..

ya la...if i'm going to say they're cute

it turns out to be some pleasantries...

no sincere...

i'm not a gay

 liking those stupid...hideous thing.....

sorry to say....i'm really sorry for those who like this gwiyomi thingy...

and i think i'm not going to watch it again..that's it...

ya...

aku suka learn bahasa...

setiap hari aku akn hafal bhasa....

walaupun later on.....

i'll only learn how to pronounce...

not knowing what they're writing about...

i'm feel at ease about that

kan.

i never give up to learn language

btw.....gwiyomi thingy is a part of language

ya...body language...maybe

suck it up dude.....

if u like it just watch it over n over again

if it's turn out u hate it...

be like me....

kutuk sikit...n stop watching dat video

banyak dan gila



Banyak gila benda nak kena solve….

Aku rasa banyak gila….

Mungkin boleh mati….

Ada kat otak…..

Tapi x terzahir…….

        1.Tujuan…………………..
        2. visi….
        3. matlamat………………

Kawan aku kata….

Nak jadi blogger….

Cantik…kaya…pandai…..

Baru la blogger…..

Hahahaaaaa…..kita bkn blogger srius……………

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Abah



I’m 23 this year and abah is 63 this year

We’re not talking that much nowadays…

Me…at home just a quiet girl….

Like a ghost…

And my abah really miss me…

He misses the way we use to be

Talking…laughing….eating together…sharing problem….

I know….

That’s why he keep scolding me….

Sometimes for nothing….

He keeps gaining my attention by scolding me…

But i…let my mouth shut and ignore what he doing…..

Some other time…I was really hurtful by what he did…

He scold me because others wrong doing

Maybe he doesn’t know it wasn’t my fault…
………………………………………………………………………..

There’s one time when I was in mecca…

He scolds me again…..and I stand up for myself….

I ask him…

“What makes you piss off right now?”

He answer

“I was very sick wani…abah ada sakit jantung and it is automatic response”

Which then I reply

“wani pun sama!!!ok abah boleh buat apa yg abh nak….. I don’t care….do as long as you feel satisfied about it….”

Later on….i sees his saddened face……..

And seem like the situation never get better….

Until now

Saturday, April 6, 2013

that is us


what makes best friend, best friend....

actually is it about a time......

how long the people know each other....

because it takes time to learn about a person...

learning about what they like...and what they don't.. their flaws...intolerable habits...

what's cool about that, that is

only best friends show their true self

and only with u, they share their deep dark secret....

once, you get to know all about that...

you'll learn to accept the flaws...and for those who managed to do so.....

they'll become better friend....close friend...best friend
....................................

it's kind of hard work.....

yup...

when you try to look back.....

it's pretty hard to change for someone....being able to change someone..

or at the very least.......being influence to who they are and become....

adapting every single thing about them....

i think that's a best friend suppose to be

u know...u're not going to be the best for nothing right........

so happy holiday fren....






Friday, March 15, 2013

ptptn dan jalan-jalan


sepanjang sebulan budak tahun empat hampir gila ptptpn x masuk2

even saya pun terpaksa berputih mata.....

broadband tak bayar....

roadtax x bayar.......

vpn juga tamat tempoh

belum dikira lagi duit penginapan kolej....

ahaaa.........

tiba2 duit masuk.....

byk gila xtiviti percutian dirangka....

ya la thun akhir......

tapi yang paling menarik....

pegi wat xpdc mungkin....

kat mount of jerai

since so many boys go there.......

tiba2............rasa x mau pi.......

kah....kah....kah..........

save duit aku....

pasni kita duk sabah pula......

hugging waktu gila


hugging sana sini..sepah2 tak baik.....

satu hari angin saya tah ape2....

duk hugging sana sini.....

dgn kawan2....

ada yang marah...ada yang gatai....ada yang tgn laju sikit....cubit pun ada......

yang paling lawaknya.....

esoknya saya jumpa the other friend......

suddenly she hugged me........

you know how i response.....

"oh now i know how it feels....."




bola dan aku


saya bkn suka sangat bola...

saya takut bola...

jangan la dibaling....disepak apatah lagi.....

tapi sebenarnya saya jaguh dlm game bola.....

satu hari lepas saya baring2 atas katil....

saya terkenang ipad kakak saya....

dalam tu ader game bola.....

termenung agi

teringat sejarah lama waktu gila main game bola....

darjah 6 main dengan kema...

try download....tapi semuanya hampeh......




Thursday, February 14, 2013

my yayan


when i was a kid...i really want to call her yayan

but in my family no one is allow to call older sister without kak in the front of their name....

for exp:kak yayan..

so one day i call her yayan and my kekwa scolded me....

she tell me that i shouldn't call yayan by only her name....

i love everyone in my family....

but i really adore kak yan so much.....

although we are not getting along very well.....

but i still love her that much.............

she's always be there for me.......

maybe sbb dia tak kawen lagi.........

but i did pray she met someone.......satu hari nanti....


rayakan pilihan anda


sejak nak pilihan raya nie....

panas ja semua......

sini sana tanya "hg sokong pa"

oleh kerana itu....semua pun bajet secret.....walau sendiri2 pun dapat jangka pihak mana hang dan aku sokong....

sebagai anak muda...mahasiswa....

yang tak banyak baca paper.....

yang tak tau propa mana2.....

aku lebih bersikap natural dalam pemilihan......(walaupun kdg2 aku bias juga)

oleh kerana dalam family aku pun caca merba.....

ada yg pro dan contra.....

pastu kawan pun lebih kurang gitu2 juga.......

aku lagi suka menilai pemimpin yang bakal diundi tersebut.....

tak kisah dari parti mana sekalipun...

asalkan berwibawa....dan..............

kawan kat matrik aku kata....

kalau nak undi pemimpin biar yang beriman sikit.....

benda iman2 ni kita sendiri susah nk ukur.....hahahahahahahaa....

jadi usah gentar dan gusar......

sentiasalah rayakan pilihan anda......



~semangat aih...menjadi pengundi kali pertama....

Monday, February 11, 2013

woah final year


yeah...of course final year...is a monster year.....

u'll see everyone start to show their true colour....

if it's need to kill someone...i think they willingly to do so....

if u're not strong enough...u better stop at third year only....

as for not so bright girl like me...more to dim la actually.....

all the business need to cleaned up perfectly....

i mean if u can hide something better u hide it....

people in the final year always craving something...like vampire craving for blood

this not include hiding exam tips from ur classmate....

bukan pe.....

the competitiveness among final year student macam..........tinggi gila kot....

u can share something to ur normal emotion friend but for the insane one...let he/she in his/her world.....

because the one with insane mind is the one with highest competitiveness spirit...

u'll get scared.....

me?....i always keep my tempo...hiding and running away from someone that i scared...untill now...

today, result is out and there's still red mark on my report...

so wat i can do...

i try my best...if it's mean to be.....then let it go....

that's what we call maturity...plus redha...

it's been fourth year already

i never get A since disastrous second sem............

chill....people tend to fail because sometimes they really need to fail.......

at the very least.....u'll never be someone that is too proud with ur result....

i know what i will be if i am dean list student.....

~we need to be humble and honest with ourselves....aha




Friday, February 8, 2013

i better earn a lot of money


kadang-kadang rasa mcm classy gila diri nie....

last month je aku spent rm1000++ untuk semua bnda...

bila tengok2 balik....haish aku tak tau pe yang aku wat dgn 1000 tu

2 hari je dah blanja smpi rm50.....beli apa agaknye...

kalau nak guna brus gigi..msti nk oral b

ubat gigi yang colgate...

kalau brg fyp...mesin kalau boleh beli dah beli dah.....semua nak yang sendiri punya

makan nak yang mahal ja......kalau boleh no maggi....nak yang  masak...mkn mesti kat luar je...

hurm....aku termenung pikir....

sekurangnya monthly aku mesti earn...rm5000 or more

but how.....

nampaknya kena pegi akpk...cari penasihat kewangan.....


......................................................................haish.......................................................

aku dah gila....

jimat2